This past Thursday was one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. And to celebrate, I worked until midnight. But before I did that, I was lucky enough to spend time with both of my families and feast.
I popped right out of bed at 7:00 in the morning, got dressed, and headed over to my parents’ house with Minnie, leaving Vin home to sleep. After some much needed coffee, we sat and chatted for a couple hours until the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade came on tv. Not long after, I left to go home, get ready for the day, and head over to Vin’s parents’ house for appetizers and family time. We spent a good 4-5 hours there eating and chatting, even decorating their Christmas tree. And then it was off to work.
I realize, though not until now, how mundane that entire paragraph seems. And yet, it was such a good day that I can’t even explain it. It is in those mundane moments that I find some weird sort of purpose in my life. And when I do, if only for a very brief moment, in the blink of an eye, it gives me a sense of comfort. And when you’re like me and you’re an incredibly and deeply sensitive & thoughtful human, those moments are really the only reason I keep going. I know for a fact that without them, I would have otherwise offed myself a long time ago and felt no remorse.
I had one of those moments again the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I slipped on the second step from the very top of our staircase and proceeded to slip ALL the way down to the bottom. As it happened, almost in slow motion, I attempted to grab onto the railing but my hands could not get a good grasp on it while the rest of my body plummeted full force down the stairs. Luckily I had fallen flat on my butt and merely just slid down the entire staircase, bumping my elbows and my hips all along each step. It was incredibly painful. Once I had finally reached the bottom and lay curled up by the front door, I screamed the loudest I could out of sheer horror and frustration. Minnie came over to me to comfort me and lick my tear-stained face, and I couldn’t help but think that something must be broken. I sat there for a good two minutes thinking how funny/awful/scary it was that I had just fallen down the f*ing stairs. Then I thought it ironic how I always laugh at those goofy Life Alert commercials and how now, of course, I felt I needed something like a damn Life Alert in case I really did have any broken bones. After a few more minutes went by, I mustered up the energy and maybe even the courage to stand up. Everything hurt, but nothing was broken. Bruises immediately started forming on my left forearm, and I knew I was in for a rude awakening the next few days. Sure enough, I am still sore – four days later. At any rate, the point of me babbling on about my having stupidly fallen down an entire flight of stairs is that during the time I sat there on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I was that I didn’t hurt any more than I already did. And how lucky I was that my good little doggie came to my rescue. And how lucky I was that I even have a flight of stairs to fall down. OK, maybe not that last one — in fact now I curse my stairs every time I go by them — but I think you understand where I am going with this. I am OK. I hurt all over and half of my body is purple from bruising, but I am OK. And that is the most important thing. And I am grateful that nothing else went wrong. And other than falling down the stairs, that day was still a really good day.
I think the point of me saying all of this is that no matter what is happening in our lives, no matter how shitty or awful our lives may seem, no matter how depressed or sad or angry we may be, there are so many strange, random, little things and moments and people that we are so, so lucky to have or be part of. There are so many strange, random, little things and moments and people that we need to appreciate more. That we need to be unbelievably thankful for. So today, a few days after Thanksgiving, I am giving a shout out to all those strange, random, little things and moments and people and I will let you all know how GD thankful I am for every last one of them.